The Struggle Is Real

by Joy

“The struggle is real.” It is a phrase used ironically to make jokes (full definition here on Urban Dictionary).

For instance, if you say, “My cell phone charger cord is too short to reach the bed,” someone may reply, “The struggle is real.” Of course that struggle isn’t really real. However, as Christians, we are in very real struggles everyday. Paul says in Ephesians 6:12,

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."(ESV) 

What Are We Fighting For?

Last time I wrote about finding my identity in Christ alone, and I know I am not the only one who must fight to believe that truth. Whether our personal struggle sounds silly or serious to us, that struggle is real. Regardless of if we keep on building our identity on something that seems small, such as clothes or home décor, or something that seems bigger, like body image or infertility, it is still the fight to believe Jesus is the only one who gets the final say in who we are.

Establishing my identity on things other than Christ does not always look like the discouragement I talked about last time, either. Sometimes I instead swell with pride, ego inflated like the Goodyear Blimp so that from my altitude, I can only look down on others. Though that may seem like an opposite problem from the first, they are actually just two symptoms of the same problem.


Both are symptoms of the kind of problem Paul describes in Romans 1:18-25. I fail to honor God as God, allowing other things to tell me who I am instead of listening to Him. I know where I should find my identity because God has told me, yet I so often exchange the truth for a lie and look for significance
in the created rather than the Creator.

How Do We Fight?

When the Holy Spirit is gracious to convict us that we are basing our identity on something other than Jesus, how do we fight to put our faith in Christ alone as the source of and ultimate authority over our identity? Fighting for something like faith often seems slippery since it is not just behavior modification. So I want to give you a few practical ways to engage in the battle.


First, ask God for faith. Faith is a gift given to us by God (Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 12:3). It is not something we conjure up on our own. So it follows that if we want to grow in faith, we ought to ask the One who gives it. Be honest with Him about your weaknesses and doubts.  Then beg God to help you believe that your identity is in Jesus, that it is more than enough, that there is nothing you can say or do, acquire or lose, that will change who you are in Christ.


The Bible also says that faith comes through hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ (Romans 10:17). Did you catch that? If we want faith, we need to hear from God in the Bible. We need to regularly listen to Jesus in His Word if we are to persevere.  We need to be reminded of Truth so we are able to fight the lies. And as Ashley talked about earlier this week, we need a community of other believers to remind us of Truth, as well.


Finally, look to Jesus. The author of Hebrews reminds us to look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). I love this quote from Robert Murray M’Cheyne, 

“For every look at yourself take ten looks at Christ.” 

It is so easy to get caught up in ourselves, either in pride or shame, but we miss the point when we focus on self. Jesus is the point. Focus on Him. Consider His identity, He who is fully God but became fully man. As your eyes are fixed on Him, see if you start to care less about the worldly thing begging for your attention and realize that nothing makes sense but to define your life by Christ. See Him humbly emptying Himself, exchanging our identity for His, so that when the Father looks on us, He would see Jesus.


See y’all in the Round!
Joy

Practice Parenting

by Susan

Though I am not a parent yet, I do have three godchildren. The oldest is 21 and the youngest is 5. The middle godchild, age 10, is the one I spend the most time with because I pick her up from school each day, and she spends snow days and the summer vacation days with me. Of the three of them, I would say she is the one I try my future parenting skills on the most.

I've known Kendall, who I usually refer to as Little Mamas (that's a story for another day), since she was one year old. It has been a blast watching her grow up and turn into a caring, compassionate, intelligent young lady. She has strong female role models in her mother, grandmother, and dare I say, me.

As I said, I think how I interact with her is how I will eventually interact with my own children. I give her good doses of love, encouragement, and reality. Her mom is amazingly tolerant of all three, even though I am sure sometimes she wishes I would tone it down a little on some aspects.

I recently asked Kendall what kind of mom she thinks I will be. She said, "You will be the one who goes up to the school a lot... You should consider home schooling." You know, she is probably right. One of my frustrations when I help her with schoolwork is how the curriculum has changed since I was her age. Sheesh, I know that I am getting old when I lament the lack of social studies and citizenship being taught. I like to joke with her that I am going to sit in on her class one day.

Concerning social studies and citizenship, I feel the need to step in and fill her in on the things she isn't getting a steady diet of at school. As a result (and with the support of her mother, I don't want people to think I just do these things without permission), Kendall has helped out on a political campaign, saw a presidential candidate, and can name senators and representatives from various states. That is very important to me, because I want her to grow up with a healthy understanding of how our nation works and have the confidence to get involved in the process.

My biggest and most important "parenting" has definitely been in the area of her spiritual growth and teaching her the importance of helping others. Again, it is something reinforced by her mother as well. In April of 2013, my family took in a family friend who had just been released from prison after serving 11 years. The charge is not important, but it did require some conversations to happen. He was going to be living with us, and therefore interacting with Kendall. Her mother and I discussed what to tell her about the whole thing. At first, we decided that we would just say he moved back to town, especially since she wouldn't really see him right away.

Because Kendall is wiser than her years, she caught on quickly and already had the story figured out by the time we told her the details. At her age, she would have every reason to be scared by the thought of an ex-prisoner being around. Instead, she didn't bat an eye. She has since become one of his biggest advocates. It makes me so proud that she gave him unconditional acceptance. .

This is the girl who writes letters for me to take to people in Guatemala, the girl who makes rainbow loom bracelets for a missions auction, the girl who watches out for bullying and puts a stop to it. She does for the least of these. I couldn't be prouder. Her mother has done a wonderful job, and it is my pleasure to re-enforce those values and watch her grow into a woman of God.

So what kind of parent will I be? Surely I will be one who goes up to the school alot. More importantly, I will be one who teaches her children that they have a place and an obligation to further God's kingdom by seeing individuals for who they are and showing kindness and compassion to  them along the way.

See you in the Round!
Susan

Lessons from the 2014 Snowpocolypse

by Jenn

On what should have been my son's first week back to school after Christmas break, we had a rough patch of weather here in Northwest Ohio. The count was around 21 inches of snow in less than a week, plus drifting snow and subzero temperatures. I do not think anything could make me wish for summer more than that!

When it was all said and done, school was cancelled five days in a row. Mothers for miles around did a collective scream and started to get crazy twitchy eyes as that last day's cancellation was announced. Oh yes we did!

Here is a list of what I learned during Snowpocolypse 2014:

1. You know you have cabin fever when the sound of Curious George sends you into fits of hysterical laughter. And then you really lose it when your son says, "Mom, my video just said we are like Lima beans to sharks".

2. In a desperate attempt to get away from a momma with her crazy twitching eye and hot chocolate mustache, children are willing to brave subzero temperatures for long periods of time.

*That was purely for your amusement. And now for my real list:

1. It is amazing how life slows down when you are literally snowed in. It made me realize how quickly my three boys are growing up. I need to stop blinking. Sometimes I long for when they are older and less annoying more mature. I hear the lie when I say life will be easier then. Truthfully, it will just bring different challenges. God has things to teach me in this time and place if I only let Him.

2. It became evident while in close quarters, that my husband and I were clearly not in control of our house. As parents who desperately want our children to love Jesus, we had been focusing on showing our children how loving and gracious God is by giving them lots of grace (a good thing, right?). We came to realize, though, that for spiritual training to take hold in our children's hearts, we first must require obedience and respect from our boys. The Bible teaches that without the law, we cannot know that we sin (Romans 7:7). If we want our children to realize their sinful nature before a good and loving God, we need to teach them the law and expect them to follow it.

3. As many moms find out, it is very easy to get caught up in the tyranny of the urgent. We forget to make time for less urgent but still worthwhile pursuits. Lately, I have been walking around in a mental fog, not thinking deeper than what is needed for my daily survival. I have been neglecting doing things that I enjoy. Of course, do let us not forget the sleepless nights with a three month old baby. As a result, I have been a bit of a grump. However, I am a daughter of the King, and am loved and cherished. He does not want me to just survive, but to thrive. All of those enjoyed extra things that have been neglected are part of who God made me to be and I should not forget about them. So, I am picking up my camera again. I have my eye on a few books to start reading. I am so excited for the opportunity to write for this blog. Each of these things will help keep my head out of the foggy daily grind, as I strive to share how God is moving in my life.

What has God been teaching you lately?

4 Secrets to Mommy Perfection

by Kim

That’s right Moms! I am a Mom to 7 children and I am perfect! My entire house is organized, cleaned and runs smoothly 100% of the time. We have such a clear daily routine that my children never throw fits or whine. I grow all of my own food organically. This Momma also exercises daily, never raises her voice, has children that eat their veggies and always play well with others. Want to know how I do it?

Kim's Mommy perfection secrets:

1. Laugh at what you just read and realize that does not happen for me, or anyone else! If all that does happen for you, please share your secret.

2. Forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have made.

3. Forgive our children for the mistakes they have made.

4. Laugh again and realize that these energetic little humans that are learning are the exact reason we became Mommies.


Now that we got that out of the way… I wanted to get real with you. The real lowdown of motherhood is that we have no idea what life will throw at us. We are going to maneuver this tremendous blessing called motherhood that is rich, scary, beautiful, tiring and fun at the same time. Everyone around us will give their opinions on everything we should be doing.


We will have moments where we feel we are rocking out the best job in the world. We will also have moments where we shut ourselves in the laundry room with a cup of coffee for a few minutes just to wrap our head around the day ahead (or maybe that is just me). Wherever you are in this journey, know that you are not alone. I would love for you to join me as I share my journey of love, adoption, large family living, and life in general, as a wife to one and Mommy to seven as we live in the round.


See you in the Round!
Kim

When Faith Gets Hard

by Ashley

When we truly experience God’s Grace and the Holy Spirit opens our eyes to see Jesus’ finished work on the cross on our behalf, life is never the same. The lifelong adventure of following our Savior begins. We are excited, joyful, and maybe even a bit over-eager as new believers to share with everyone what God is up to.

Life Takes Over

However, somewhere along the way that energy begins to slowly bleed out. Life takes over and if we’re not careful, our First Love becomes routine. Good things like meeting with other believers and studying the Bible morph into a list of obligations rather than life-energizing opportunities. And all of a sudden following Jesus is just hard.

How can we regain the energy that formerly came from a thriving understanding of our faith?

According to the Bible, one way to reinvigorate our faith is to consider the faith of others. Read about the heroes in the Bible (see 1 Corinthians 11:1). Read biographies of those who have gone before us (see Hebrews 13:17). Do not forget to identify godly women in your own circles who have an admirable faith. Paul says in Philippians 3:17,

“(Sisters), join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.”

Foolish Choices 

In college, I struggled to reconcile my understanding of the Christian faith with my rebellious lifestyle. I would defend Christ as the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6), but my foolish choices birthed debilitating frustrations that ended up making me miserable. My life was a reflection of the discouragement that had overtaken me due to a lack of understanding about how amazing God truly is.

www.uncannytoys.com/drink-hat-red

One day I met two girls and it was obvious they were both in love with Christ. While I have no delusions that their faith was perfect, I saw these joyful girls who loved life, sought adventure, and worshiped Christ through it all. At first, I watched them from a distance. I heard stories of things that you truly can only get away with in college - deciding one night to go downtown in pajamas to see what kind of reaction they got from passersby, buying beer-drinking hats to fill up with soft drinks, again for the sake of funny looks, and other crazy stunts. They did the things I only wish I was brave enough to do.


From these girls, I also saw glimpses of a faith that I previously thought I possessed, claimed to have, and wanted for myself so desperately. I heard stories about meeting people of other faiths, befriending and sharing the Gospel, and fostering relationships with them. I heard about random stories of God’s miraculous hand at work around them. I saw how they loved people with a love that did not make sense.

A Grand Adventure

Through their example, I learned so much about the character of God. I learned that He is not a stodgy, vapid Being. I discovered through fresh eyes that He is active in the lives of His people. He truly transforms hearts to beat for Him. He continues to take us on a grand adventure, whether or not we notice. And when we passionately pursue Him, our faith flourishes and others take note.


These two women very quickly became good friends of mine. Although I never quite grew the....um... ovaries to join in their college antics, my joy in Christ grew exponentially.


This, I believe, is one of the many reasons we are wired to live in Biblical community, especially with other faith-filled women. Sometimes, we all need a helping hand, and honestly sometimes we need to be pulled along.


I’m not sure that I’ve ever shared with these two college friends the extent to which they unknowingly pulled me closer to Christ. Of course, I still struggle with seeing the excitement of living for Christ. I see my Bible gathering dust on my table and the inner-debate begins, much the same way I struggle to do the dishes. However, it is my deepest desire to remain in mutually-encouraging community with other women who will, if necessary, drag me forward in my walk with Christ with their words and experiences. This blog is the result of that desire.

How are you being pulled closer to Christ? Who in your life has been an encouragement in your walk?


See you in the Round!
Ashley

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^® (ESV^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

The Hardest Battle

by Megan

“Above all else,

guard your heart,

for everything you do flows from it.”

-Proverbs 4:23

Ladies, do yourself a favor and guard your heart…

It is a phrase that we have all heard before. It is the advice that I have given friends who have just begun dating someone. Looking deeper, it is a phrase that can sound quite ambiguous. What does it really mean to guard your heart?

I have come to find that, contrary to popular belief, guarding my heart is not confined to romantic
relationships. Instead, this idea should permeate all areas of my life. A wrong relationship is not the only way that my heart can be tainted and altered in a negative way. I need to also guard my heart from the world we are living in- from media, culture, societal pressures, individuals, expectations, and norms.


Think about all you encounter in one day: People you met, conversations you had, media you were exposed to, opinions and expectations that were thrust upon you... All these things influence every aspect of your being. They can either have a positive or negative impact on the way you view life, yourself, and God. You have the liberty to decipher the ultimate truth.


As a woman living in today’s society, I constantly feel the pressure to be smart enough, skinny enough, less emotional, kind-hearted, compassionate, not too sensitive, have a little more this and little less that, do this, not that. The world does a great job at telling us who we are to be, rather than encourage us to embrace that which we already are. This pressure can be quite crippling…it can impair us.

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” 

–E.E. Cummings, 1955

The ultimate standards that the world creates hinder our ability to see that there are no actual standards anyway. God does not have a single standard for His creation. He made each of us in HIS image and likeness, and therefore, we are inherently valuable. Life becomes beautiful, enjoyable, and liberating when we embrace the differences within us, as the things that make us gorgeous.


I do not have to seek this world or anyone in it to give me value and worth (and neither should you). I have already found that worth in God. Seeking value from the world will do nothing but let us down, disappoint us, and leave us feeling empty.


For most of the past 10 years, I tried to be someone I certainly was not. In fact, I tried to be and do EXACTLY what my friends were doing, wearing, saying, and liking. Independence, what’s that? Conforming was essential. Why? Well, because I wanted to do everything in my power to be accepted in my environment. I was tired of being the one who stuck out, the one who did not have a “place” in her surroundings. Fear drove me to act like those around me as best as I could. I was afraid that I would not be liked for who I really was, so I did my best to attain the characteristics of the people around me that were socially accepted and liked by others.

I felt like a slave to this world. It was not until I faced this idolatry head on, confessed, and repented to Jesus that I finally reached freedom…freedom from the bondage of this world and its foolish, irrational, unattainable standards. Believe me, this was not an easy process. It was excruciating. However, immediate peace overwhelmed me. God began pruning me to be more like Jesus. That rarely FEELS good, but good ALWAYS follows. For the first time in my life, I was able to stop trying and stop pretending to be anyone other than who the God Almighty has designed me to be. Insert a sigh of relief.


Once this happened, I was able to love God, others, and myself more deeply. When idols are removed from our lives, we are able to live freely.

IDOLS ARE ENSLAVING --- GOD IS FREEING.

IDOLATRY IS SELFISH --- GOD IS SELFLESS.

Simply put, guarding our hearts means to monitor what is going in and out of it.


It does not mean removing yourself from painful circumstances, difficult people, or even to isolation from the challenging realities of this world. Removing ourselves completely from this culture in order to guard our hearts is not helpful either. We have to figure out how to balance living IN this world, while also refusing to let our heart become a PART of it. There are huge ramifications for permitting the world to alter our hearts to its liking. We quickly become less of who we have been designed to be and less like our Savior.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Whatever we allow to enter our heart will affect what comes out of our heart.

Matthew 15:18 says, 

“But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.”

Luke 6:45 says,

“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.”

See ya in the Round!
Megan

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^® (ESV^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Who Am I?

by Joy

When I was younger, I used to wish I had a longer name. Three letters? It just did not seem like enough. You cannot even make a shortened-version nickname out of Joy. I envied those girls with names like Jessica or Jennifer, or especially Tiffany or Nichole, the names I believed to be more beautiful than any other on the planet.

I know it all seems a bit silly (and I like my name very much now, by the way). But still, I often find myself dissatisfied with that which identifies me. Or maybe I should say that which I believe identifies me. Do you know that feeling? Feeling like it all is not quite enough? That maybe if you had more or better, or if you could wear some other label – like “well-liked and popular” or maybe “wife and mother” - you’d be more satisfied with who you are?


I was thinking over this when I was asked to write the little paragraph about me on the “Meet the Authors” page of this blog. Which relationships, hobbies, interests sum me up? How do I define myself in just a few short sentences? Is there anything more to say than that, anyway? Just as I used to believe there were not quite enough letters in my name, I still often believe I don’t have quite enough stuff – whether it be a cooler address or a better wardrobe or a more refined palette - to give me a proper identity. Oh, and remember how I used to envy other girls’ prettier names? That has not quite stopped, either, although it is not about names anymore. But I still constantly compare most other aspects of my life to others’. And it is in those moments that I tend to find myself the least content with who I am.


But the truth is that I am looking to the wrong things to identify me. Things that were never meant to define me. Things that – even if they are good things – are transient and changing and can never give me a secure and fulfilling identity. The truth is that those things do not get to say who I am, anyway. God does. And here’s the bad news: without Christ, my identity is God’s enemy (Romans 5:10), a child of wrath (Ephesians 2:3).


But here’s the good news: because of Jesus, I have been given a new identity. God now says I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), His child (John 1:12-13), a member of God’s household (Ephesians 2:19), and a fellow heir with Christ (Romans 8:17). And that identity is sure and secure regardless of what I have or what I do or who I know. That identity is more than enough.


Do I still struggle to find my identity in Christ alone? Of course. But that’s a conversation for next time.


See y’all in the Round!
Joy

On Having Kids

by Christina

It's amazing how God can work ever so slowly in you to effect a change that you never thought possible!


Growing up, I really liked kids.  I never was much a fan of babies, but I loved playing with little kids and could not wait until I was old enough to help with Vacation Bible School at church and babysit. The only regular sitting I did was for the two kids of the pastor of the church I attended in college, and it was around that time that children, even just the thought of them, made me feel... well, kinda weary.


I do not know what had changed, but I just plain did not want anything to do with kids and had no interest in having children. I always knew that I would have kids, though; it just seemed to be one of those things that stood to reason. “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3) I saw no future without kids. I just wasn't ready yet.


Someone send me back to 1950 already!
At the same time, however, I knew I also never wanted to be a career woman. The thought of working full-time for the rest of my life—or most of it, anyway—was just about one of the most depressing things that I could imagine. I did not fit in any of the conventional boxes: did not want a career, was not eager to have kids, was just plain happy being home.  I did not dare formulate such a thought then, but a housewife was what I really wanted to be.


It is tough nowadays for a young woman to say she wants to be a stay-at-home mom. I was ashamed in high school to say I wanted to stay home, so I just never did. I went to college and got my degree. I was in the working world for seven years before God saw fit to place me where I am now. I heard a discussion once several years ago on a radio broadcast that there are more women than anyone realizes who actually want to stay home, keep house, raise the kids, but they are scared to say it. That is just not where most peoples' mindset is today.


Granted, there is nothing wrong with being a working mom—it is just not for me, and it is not for a lot of women. But how have we gotten to a place where a young lady cannot say with confidence that a stay-at-home mom is her calling in life? After kids, sure, she can voice it all she wants, but not before. Psalm 128:3 speaks of a wife being a “fruitful vine” and children “olive shoots”—desirable, positive images that we should laud and support!


For my husband and me, it was a slow transformation of going from a young married couple who wanted to learn to live in the world together to a young married couple who wanted to taste the joys and trials of parenthood (and lemme tell ya, I was SHAKING when I showed Richard that pregnancy test last January!). Even though neither of us were kid people, it just seemed like the right time, the right place (and, I have to admit, I was VERY curious to know what it felt like to be pregnant! And you know what? I liked it!).


Now, I've never been ooey-gooey over babies
I would never call even my own baby an angel or some other floofy name (though if you want to do it, go right ahead!), but I do love William. My mother was right—even if you do not have a particularly soft spot for kids, it is totally different having your own child! It is even better now that he is ever more showing his personality and smiling, smiling, smiling. What an honor that God has trusted us to take care of this child!


Richard and I have entered a whole new world of restless nights, dirty diapers, and unexplainable rounds of baby tears—as well as the most adorable smiles, coos, and cozy sleeping baby on our shoulders. What's more, though, is a silent camaraderie between us and other parents. Suddenly people you never gave a second glance at before are trading stories with you in the grocery store. You are in the same boat with other young parents at church (sympathetic looks and knowing smiles can go a long way when baby has a bout of crankiness during the service!).


We moms are not alone 
God has placed a network of fellow believers with young ones around us and surrounded us with a “cloud of witnesses” (Heb. 12:1). I am grateful that children are welcome in our church service, too; there is no nursery, and everyone looks kindly on the kids. Even during a funeral last month, I was told that it was so nice to see a baby there, despite his crankiness—what an encouragement!


My heart now sings songs of which I never knew it was capable. Children are an indescribable blessing, and we rejoice in this special task from the Lord in raising the next generation!

See you in the Round!
Christina

*Scripture quotations are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Count It All Joy

by Stacy

I am a part of an online Bible study called “Wife After God”. I am very thankful for this study because the older I get, the harder it seems to be able to get people together due to different life issues. Because of technology today, I am able to be in a Bible study with women all over the world online, and that means a lot to me. Community and Growth are super important!!! I urge you to join a Bible study whether online or in-person with a group of believers.


I want to start off by talking about something I have learned and have been working at in my life diligently and that is: JOY. Take a moment to think of all the people in your life. People you come into contact with daily. If you are a Christian, you should look at life differently- with an eternal perspective and with an awareness and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, who is guiding you. This perspective changes your day-to-day activities and makes them His. Every single person all over the world was created by God and for God. And that means you. You are very special. Yes, YOU! And you have gifts to use in this world to be a light and show others the love of God.


When you serve God, it should not feel like total obligation and sacrifice constantly. It should feel like pure joy. You can share that joy with those around you. If there are troubles in your heart, ask God to Psalm 139 you.  Psalm 139:23-24:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart: examine me, and know my thoughts: And see if there by any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Things in life can cause bitterness, as Elaine talked about yesterday.  I could tell you stories of things in my life, ups and downs, disappointments, confusing times, that beg the question "why", things that I did not understand and maybe when I look back still do not, etc.  And there is nothing more that the enemy wants than for that bitterness/confusion/self-focus to take root and cause you to stumble or be paralyzed and unavailable for the ministry of God.  Be aware of that and be on guard.

It takes sacrifice of your time, money, and energy. As a Christian, you are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. You are called to be a light in this world. Being a light is not going to work by shrinking away or by being offended and holding grudges. Get rid of that junk.  John the Evangelist tells us in 1 John 4:4,

“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them (evil spirits), because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” 

Work out your heart issues and ask God to " Create in me a clean heart and put a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10).  He will do it!

Jesus says in John 14:12-14

“Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” 

Luke 6:35-36 brings us this challenge,

"But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend them without expecting to get anything back.  Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.  Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."

So be liberated by the power of His name and live your life by His promises. You are gifted for great things!  Who is someone in your life that could use an encouraging word?  Have you noticed someone going through a tough time?  How could you be instrumental in lifting their spirits?  I pray your eyes would be open to whom God wants you to bless.  And count it all Joy.


See you in the Round!
Stacy

*Scripture quotations are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

He Humbled Himself

by Elaine

In my first entry, Married With No Children, I exhorted us to share in the likeness of Christ and His journey for us. Personally, I have recently been struggling with Christ’s calling in Ephesians, 4:31,

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”

I work in a very small department of a college. Last fall, our director moved on to another school. This left me with only myself and two part-time student aides to take on all the extra work during the busiest time of the school year. My expectation was that this would be very temporary (maybe a month) and that I would be promoted.

There were days that moved so fast and were so busy, that I felt like I did not even have a chance to breathe. There were many nights that I stayed until 6, 7, even 8. And, oh, did I mention that I also commute an hour? Day after day passed this way, with no extra compensation, no title to reflect the extra responsibilities, and no recognition. It was exhausting and frustrating. I began to dread going to work. I had no energy for anything else in my life. Many self-pep talks began with, “If I can just make it until...” My health and relationships were beginning to suffer. After four months of carrying on this way, I was told I was not getting the promotion. They were giving the job to someone else. I called my husband immediately after I got off work that day and just sobbed.


I tried to be positive. I put on a smile for my students. I told other colleagues that it was going to be great to get fresh perspective from a new person and that I was keeping an open mind. But on the inside, I was absolutely crushed. I felt that I had been taken advantage of. Bitterness, anger, and slander were festering and growing in my heart.


Bitterness is poison. If you let bitterness grow and take root in your heart, it will destroy everything, inside and out-- A bitter root, will produce bitter fruit. I had been there before and I did not want to go back.  Today, I am still working through all the emotions, and there are good days and bad. I know that I do not want to live in bitterness. Through this time, I keep coming back to Philippians 2, which says,

“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross”.

These words remind me that I am not entitled to anything at work. Our culture tells me that if I work hard, I deserve to be rewarded. Of course, it is okay for me to set boundaries so that I am not taken advantage of, but Christ set a different example for me. He emptied himself. He was a servant. He was humble. He was obedient even to the point of death. When I go to work every day, I want my coworkers and students to see that example. They expect me to be angry about what happened. But what if I show them a different way? I can, because I know that my reward is not in my paycheck or my title, but it is in knowing that I worked hard to serve the Lord.


And the Lord has given me an incredible and unique opportunity to be a light amongst so many different types of people -- I work with people from all over the world and from all religious backgrounds. I have told them how amazing Jesus is and why I would not want to follow anyone else. My prayer everyday is that my students will also come to know Jesus.


So, while I know it might be awhile before I feel differently about the situation, I am going to proactively choose to let my faith lead my attitude and actions. I will also let some (as appropriate) share in my journey. I have been honest with my student workers and a few students about how I feel. I’ll admit sometimes it is a fine line between needing to be honest and needing to vent. However, if I let them see the real me, they will also see the real Jesus in me-- and that is what I ultimately want.


Has anyone else had an experience like this? I would love to know about how you worked through the situation!


See you in the Round!
Elaine

*Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.

What Might Not Have Been

by Susan

This e-card from Pinterest pretty much sums me up. At 36, I have plenty of friends who have been married for years, and now the baby phase has started. Though I haven’t quite got there yet, I am perfectly okay that they have. I even shake off the good natured teasing about why I am not married, because really, I do not have an exact answer.


Growing up, I pictured being a wife and a mother.  I have little doubt that I will be both when God sees fit. I am a firm believer in Proverbs 16:9, which reads 

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”  

While some days I can picture coming home to a husband and a couple of kids, I can easily say that at this point in my life, I enjoy the freedom that being single has afforded me.


Looking back, I believe that I may never have met some of the most important people in my life had I been married.  In 2006, I went on my first mission trip to Guatemala. Although many from that trip are married and have children, I do not think I would have left home with a young family to take care of. The people I met and to this day maintain friendships with in Guatemala have blessed and inspired me more than I can put into words. Because of my single status, I have been able to travel back to Guatemala every July since 2006. 


My experience in Guatemala put my career path in to light.  After the trip in 2006, and with two semesters left to go in a Bachelor’s degree in elementary education, I switched my major to social work. My passion to create change and advocate for those without a voice was renewed.  Again, I am not sure any of that would have all happened had I settled down. 


The social work field is not exactly teeming with guys (at least here in Ohio anyway), so that cut down my chances of meeting someone at work.  At the time, I also worked at a preschool. Not a ton of guys in that field either. And now, I work from home, so some weeks the only time I go anywhere is when I pick my Goddaughter up from school.  Because I work evenings and weekends, I do not have a lot of opportunity to go to church functions which, to me, would be a great place to meet a future spouse.



What I am trying to say is that I am okay with all of this. I am not worried about it at all. God has always had a plan for my life. On days when I get discouraged about my singleness (and there ARE those days) I take a deep breath and remind myself how Someone much more powerful than myself has it under control!



See you in the Round!
Susan

Entertaining Strangers

by Jenn

Recently in a ladies’ Bible study, we studied 1 Timothy 5:10.  “And having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.”

This passage in context is explaining what qualifications should be considered for a faithful widow to be allowed help from the local church.  But logical thinking could deduce that if these widows were called to have lived a life evident in these qualities, this is a great list for us younger ladies to be striving towards!

I'm in the thick of bringing up children at the moment.  My three young boys demand most of my time and energy, which is the way things should be at their age.  However, that does not excuse me from pursuing these marks of a faithful woman found in 1 Timothy.  As I first read through this list, I started to feel despair that I am falling very short of the mark.  But then God reminded me that there are many ways I can fulfill these truly good things.

One specific way came to mind is that I've always enjoyed being hospitable.  Play dates, dinners, game nights, bonfires, birthday parties and many other events scatter our calendar year ‘round.  My family has also had a special opportunity to practice hospitality long term by hosting exchange students.

Lena and her 'little brother'
Jesse on Prom Night
           

Our first student fell into our family’s lap in 2008.  We had not even considered hosting when we found out about a girl, Lena, from Germany looking to study abroad.  There were only a few days left for her to be placed with a family before her dream to come to the US would be crushed.

We considered prayerfully if we could offer the one spare room in our small home.  Could we afford to feed her?  Would she mind that we had a 6 month old baby?  Questions and uneasiness ran through our minds as we considered the pros and cons.  Ultimately, though, we knew that God was calling us to entertain this stranger in our home for nine months and He would provide all that we needed to do it.

Anna and her 'little bro'
Jesse, her homecoming date

While there are many horror stories out there about hosting exchange students, we were blessed with a wonderful experience with Lena.  We loved it so much that when we moved a few years later, we did it again!  Our home was bigger this time, our family was larger, and, in 2012, we welcomed Anna in. 

Some could argue that it was financially silly for us to feed and house these girls when our budget was tight.  Maybe so, but we looked at it as a worthy investment.  These girls could have been placed in any home, yet they had a chance to live with a Christian family.  They saw our faith and foibles first hand.  There were of course trials and ruffled feathers, but we said goodbye at the end of the school year to another family member, not a stranger. 

Consider how you could use your home to fulfill one of your callings as a Godly woman.  Could you put to use the dining room table that is collecting dust?  What about that extra bedroom that you pile boxes in?  The new bonfire pit you just put in?

If hosting an exchange student for a year seems that too big of a commitment for your family, here are some other options to consider:

·         Host an international student over Christmas break when universities close down

·         Invite members of a mission team to use your basement instead of a hotel

·         Offer a room in your home to a house mom working with The Daughter Project or another similar ministry

·         Host a dinner for the new family on your street who you've been meaning to meet

·         Invite the empty-nesters next door over for a bonfire and games (they would probably love to spend time with small children for a few hours again)!

Whatever you decide, don't believe the lie that you are just not in a season where hospitality is an option.  If you wait until you have everything together and in place, you may never get there.  Choose instead to bless someone else (and yourself in the process) by opening your home.  You never know what could happen!  Hebrews 13:2 says, 

            “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”  

See you in the Round!
Jenn

Where God Puts Us

by Christina

As I sit here, nursing the baby, I can't help but wonder just how I got here. Well, how WE got here, Richard and I. If you had told me five years ago that I would be an Air Force wife with a little boy, I probably would have peed my pants and maybe cried. But I love it! I don't want to be anywhere else. God's got me where he wants me, and by golly, if it ain't the best place for me right now! He knows best—go figure!

Richard and I met in college in Virginia—we were both at a foreign language event that neither of us wanted to be at but felt obligated to go to. I was a senior German major at the university down the street from where he was a freshman history major. Our relationship almost didn't go anywhere, as we never exchanged contact information, till he asked his German professor, with whom I'd taken a couple course, what my name was. (He had a terrible memory for names!) He emailed a generic postmaster address at my school, asking them to pass on a message to me, and a few days later, we went out to dinner!

While Richard and I were dating and he brought up the possibility of his joining the military, I kind of went along with his mom in encouraging him to NOT join. I don't know what my prejudice was against military families was at that point, but I didn't want any part of it.

After getting to know my then-soon-to-be-husband, though, I did a full one-eighty and knew the military was the only place for Richard. I watched him struggle to find a job after graduating from college and sympathized with him as he worked a retail job that, while giving him good experience, he hated. When he entered basic training February 2012, we never looked back. And he loves his job, and I love mine.

I never had any interest in a career; I used to say I wanted to translate comic books (ha). In college I joked about marrying a premed student so I wouldn't HAVE to get a job. The thought of working full-time outside the home was incredibly depressing! I knew staying home wasn't an option unless kids were in the picture, though, and for four years I worked as a dental assistant before Richard enlisted and whisked us to Colorado. Assisting was a good job for me—not career—and I really liked it, but I was so glad when I didn't have the task of being the breadwinner on my shoulders anymore.

I never had even been all that keen on having kids, either, but the Lord worked a slow (and I mean SLOW) change in me over the last few years, culminating in our becoming pregnant a few months after moving here. Even though His timing is perfect, may I selfishly say that I am SO glad we didn't have a baby before we did! But, again, His timing is the best, and we have the son that He wanted for us at the time He wanted him for us.

It's always so interesting to learn what God has going on behind the scenes when it seems nothing is happening! Whenever it seemed like life had stalled—my not wanting to work full-time, Richard's wanting to work full-time—I would remember Psalm 37:5-6.

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun."

He's always got a plan for where you're going; just trust him.

Richard, William, and Asshur

I love my job of stay-at-home mom—and that's the first time I've ever been able to say I love my job. And it is, of course, the hardest job I've had, but it's the most fulfilling by far!

It will be so exciting to see what God has in store for us next!

See you in the Round!
Christina

*Scripture quotations are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Married With No Children

by Elaine

Working in higher education, I have been really lucky to have some snow days recently and it has given me a chance to actually get started on this blogging-thing. Having never blogged before, I find it a little intimidating to just start writing. It is definitely frightening to commit to being so publicly vulnerable, and I am feeling a little insecure about what I have to offer. Am I “cool enough” to blog? Will my stories be interesting enough? What if I my writing style isn’t catchy? What if I am severely criticized for something I write? I mean, we have all seen how hateful comments on blogs can sometimes be. However, I know that the Lord has done great works in my life and maybe there are some women out there who would be encouraged by it.


I believe that everyone has a story to tell and it is important to share your own story. Not to be boastful, but because we can all learn from each others’ stories. I also love words and believe in their power. One of my “love languages" is “Words of Affirmation” (reference: Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages”). This means that kind words, encouraging words, helpful words leave a greater impression in my heart, than say, a boxed gift (don’t get me wrong-- I like getting gifts too :) ) Because of the power of words and sharing stories, I love the concept of bringing together women from all walks and stages of life to share through this blog.


I especially appreciate being asked to contribute to this blog, because I feel there is a real lack of encouragement out there for married women with no children. Too often, I have found that women’s ministry is centered on either being single or being a wife AND mom. I am not trying to put down women’s ministry, because when I was single, I so was grateful and appreciative of all the resources out there. I also know that being a mom can be really, really challenging and someday (Lord-willing) I am sure I will find all of the mom-resources really helpful. Until then, I am in between. I am a wife, but do not have any children. I work full-time and give a lot of time and energy to my job.


So, my hope in publicly writing is two-fold: to offer a place for women in a similar life-stage to identify and relate, and to encourage women who may be approaching this life stage. I really want women like me to know first and foremost that this life-stage is perfectly acceptable. In fact, it is an incredible blessing! Not because of what we do or do not have compared to others in different life stages, but because God has us just where He wants us in this exact moment of time. Each and every day, God renews His grace and mercy for us and it is sufficient for that particular day (Lamentations 3:22-23 and 2 Corinthians 12:9). Daily our Father is guiding us. My life verse is Isaiah 42:16,

“And I will lead the blind, in a way they have not known, in paths that they have not known I will guide them.  I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground.  These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.”   

My goal should be to embrace each and every unique day. I do not know what my life situation will be tomorrow. I am not promised children. I am not promised that my marriage will last forever. I am not promised that I will continue to have a job. I am not even promised tomorrow! Today, however, I have a husband to love and serve. Today, I have employment of which I am called to be a good steward. Today, I have a house to tend. Today, I have friends to care for. So, “As it is said, ‘Today if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion’” (Hebrews 3:15). Instead of envying, despairing or feeling guilty for our life-stage, let us share in Christ-- His likeness and the journey that He is taking us on. Of course, we will struggle and wrestle and feel confused and have hopes and desires. That is being human. Embracing today and being content are much easier said than done. But let us know, first, that is okay to just be where we are today.


See you in the Round!

Elaine

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^® (ESV^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”

My First Blog (Again)

by Ashley

So I have a blog. Well, I had a blog. It came about after a friend asked me about an issue that I’d briefly studied, so I typed out my notes and journal entries and sent it to her. From there, I decided that there’s not much more required to actually publish it online, so why not? I thought of a catchy name and developed my voice (mostly coming out of the attitude that most Christian women’s stuff sucks- It’s either fluff, using the same Jeremiah 29 verse out of context or it’s again about Proverbs 31 or Ruth. I love both of those passages, but come on, let’s stretch a bit people).


Anyway, in my subsequent 15 posts, I didn’t do badly considering my limited circle. On my best day, I had about 60 hits, and most of those weren’t me refreshing the page (I hope). Then I learned the tragic part of blogging: if I don’t write, then nothing goes on the website. No one reads it. There’s no point. So my little blog didn’t last past a month. A year later, I tried again. After two posts, it went away (though the last post had the most comments of any of the blogs - a total of 5, including one from my aunt saying I did a good job...not really the point and probably shouldn’t count that one...so a real total of 4 comments).


Then, a year ago I had an idea. I wanted to discover how to develop a destination that was more than just a blog. What if there was one single website dedicated to women, written by a collection of women of various backgrounds that enabled them to speak to a variety of visitors? I wondered if that style of website would also encourage people to be open to hearing from others in different life stages.


I had a friend once who was single and really wanted to be married. She was head-over-heels for all things romantic. She watched rom-coms like grandmas play bingo. She read countless Amish love stories masquerading as wholesome Christian lit. On and on. However, to combat this utopian notion, all of her married friends went the opposite way and inundated her with ‘hard truths’ about the difficulty of marriage. She decided to turn away from the voices in the trenches (who could blame her) and went to the blogs written by single women. Now most of these focused on their singleness (articles along the lines of ‘Why God allows me to be 50 and single’ and ‘How to keep your pants on when you’re turning gray with no hub’). Even with a positive spin, it can be depressing after a while.


But what if? What if she could go to a website to get a real glimpse into a married woman’s heart- her struggles, her blessings, where God is working? What if she could identify with a single woman who isn’t defined by her singleness but rather by her Heavenly Father who is working in her day-to-day life?


And the same goes for any woman in any other life stage. Where can a young mother go online where she’s not totally bombarded by how to make her child the center of her world, but rather hear from a godly older woman about how to develop her relationship with Christ so that He is the reason for her life?


This is the heart behind our blog. Each of the authors has their own style, voice, and spans a wide spectrum of life-stages. Each woman has a heart that is desperate for God and wants to come along with Him on His mission in her life and in the lives of those around her. By opening our hearts and sharing our stories, we hope that you will be encouraged to grow deeper in your walk with Christ.


See you in the Round!
Ashley