Who Am I?

by Joy

When I was younger, I used to wish I had a longer name. Three letters? It just did not seem like enough. You cannot even make a shortened-version nickname out of Joy. I envied those girls with names like Jessica or Jennifer, or especially Tiffany or Nichole, the names I believed to be more beautiful than any other on the planet.

I know it all seems a bit silly (and I like my name very much now, by the way). But still, I often find myself dissatisfied with that which identifies me. Or maybe I should say that which I believe identifies me. Do you know that feeling? Feeling like it all is not quite enough? That maybe if you had more or better, or if you could wear some other label – like “well-liked and popular” or maybe “wife and mother” - you’d be more satisfied with who you are?


I was thinking over this when I was asked to write the little paragraph about me on the “Meet the Authors” page of this blog. Which relationships, hobbies, interests sum me up? How do I define myself in just a few short sentences? Is there anything more to say than that, anyway? Just as I used to believe there were not quite enough letters in my name, I still often believe I don’t have quite enough stuff – whether it be a cooler address or a better wardrobe or a more refined palette - to give me a proper identity. Oh, and remember how I used to envy other girls’ prettier names? That has not quite stopped, either, although it is not about names anymore. But I still constantly compare most other aspects of my life to others’. And it is in those moments that I tend to find myself the least content with who I am.


But the truth is that I am looking to the wrong things to identify me. Things that were never meant to define me. Things that – even if they are good things – are transient and changing and can never give me a secure and fulfilling identity. The truth is that those things do not get to say who I am, anyway. God does. And here’s the bad news: without Christ, my identity is God’s enemy (Romans 5:10), a child of wrath (Ephesians 2:3).


But here’s the good news: because of Jesus, I have been given a new identity. God now says I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), His child (John 1:12-13), a member of God’s household (Ephesians 2:19), and a fellow heir with Christ (Romans 8:17). And that identity is sure and secure regardless of what I have or what I do or who I know. That identity is more than enough.


Do I still struggle to find my identity in Christ alone? Of course. But that’s a conversation for next time.


See y’all in the Round!
Joy

On Having Kids

by Christina

It's amazing how God can work ever so slowly in you to effect a change that you never thought possible!


Growing up, I really liked kids.  I never was much a fan of babies, but I loved playing with little kids and could not wait until I was old enough to help with Vacation Bible School at church and babysit. The only regular sitting I did was for the two kids of the pastor of the church I attended in college, and it was around that time that children, even just the thought of them, made me feel... well, kinda weary.


I do not know what had changed, but I just plain did not want anything to do with kids and had no interest in having children. I always knew that I would have kids, though; it just seemed to be one of those things that stood to reason. “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3) I saw no future without kids. I just wasn't ready yet.


Someone send me back to 1950 already!
At the same time, however, I knew I also never wanted to be a career woman. The thought of working full-time for the rest of my life—or most of it, anyway—was just about one of the most depressing things that I could imagine. I did not fit in any of the conventional boxes: did not want a career, was not eager to have kids, was just plain happy being home.  I did not dare formulate such a thought then, but a housewife was what I really wanted to be.


It is tough nowadays for a young woman to say she wants to be a stay-at-home mom. I was ashamed in high school to say I wanted to stay home, so I just never did. I went to college and got my degree. I was in the working world for seven years before God saw fit to place me where I am now. I heard a discussion once several years ago on a radio broadcast that there are more women than anyone realizes who actually want to stay home, keep house, raise the kids, but they are scared to say it. That is just not where most peoples' mindset is today.


Granted, there is nothing wrong with being a working mom—it is just not for me, and it is not for a lot of women. But how have we gotten to a place where a young lady cannot say with confidence that a stay-at-home mom is her calling in life? After kids, sure, she can voice it all she wants, but not before. Psalm 128:3 speaks of a wife being a “fruitful vine” and children “olive shoots”—desirable, positive images that we should laud and support!


For my husband and me, it was a slow transformation of going from a young married couple who wanted to learn to live in the world together to a young married couple who wanted to taste the joys and trials of parenthood (and lemme tell ya, I was SHAKING when I showed Richard that pregnancy test last January!). Even though neither of us were kid people, it just seemed like the right time, the right place (and, I have to admit, I was VERY curious to know what it felt like to be pregnant! And you know what? I liked it!).


Now, I've never been ooey-gooey over babies
I would never call even my own baby an angel or some other floofy name (though if you want to do it, go right ahead!), but I do love William. My mother was right—even if you do not have a particularly soft spot for kids, it is totally different having your own child! It is even better now that he is ever more showing his personality and smiling, smiling, smiling. What an honor that God has trusted us to take care of this child!


Richard and I have entered a whole new world of restless nights, dirty diapers, and unexplainable rounds of baby tears—as well as the most adorable smiles, coos, and cozy sleeping baby on our shoulders. What's more, though, is a silent camaraderie between us and other parents. Suddenly people you never gave a second glance at before are trading stories with you in the grocery store. You are in the same boat with other young parents at church (sympathetic looks and knowing smiles can go a long way when baby has a bout of crankiness during the service!).


We moms are not alone 
God has placed a network of fellow believers with young ones around us and surrounded us with a “cloud of witnesses” (Heb. 12:1). I am grateful that children are welcome in our church service, too; there is no nursery, and everyone looks kindly on the kids. Even during a funeral last month, I was told that it was so nice to see a baby there, despite his crankiness—what an encouragement!


My heart now sings songs of which I never knew it was capable. Children are an indescribable blessing, and we rejoice in this special task from the Lord in raising the next generation!

See you in the Round!
Christina

*Scripture quotations are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Count It All Joy

by Stacy

I am a part of an online Bible study called “Wife After God”. I am very thankful for this study because the older I get, the harder it seems to be able to get people together due to different life issues. Because of technology today, I am able to be in a Bible study with women all over the world online, and that means a lot to me. Community and Growth are super important!!! I urge you to join a Bible study whether online or in-person with a group of believers.


I want to start off by talking about something I have learned and have been working at in my life diligently and that is: JOY. Take a moment to think of all the people in your life. People you come into contact with daily. If you are a Christian, you should look at life differently- with an eternal perspective and with an awareness and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, who is guiding you. This perspective changes your day-to-day activities and makes them His. Every single person all over the world was created by God and for God. And that means you. You are very special. Yes, YOU! And you have gifts to use in this world to be a light and show others the love of God.


When you serve God, it should not feel like total obligation and sacrifice constantly. It should feel like pure joy. You can share that joy with those around you. If there are troubles in your heart, ask God to Psalm 139 you.  Psalm 139:23-24:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart: examine me, and know my thoughts: And see if there by any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Things in life can cause bitterness, as Elaine talked about yesterday.  I could tell you stories of things in my life, ups and downs, disappointments, confusing times, that beg the question "why", things that I did not understand and maybe when I look back still do not, etc.  And there is nothing more that the enemy wants than for that bitterness/confusion/self-focus to take root and cause you to stumble or be paralyzed and unavailable for the ministry of God.  Be aware of that and be on guard.

It takes sacrifice of your time, money, and energy. As a Christian, you are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. You are called to be a light in this world. Being a light is not going to work by shrinking away or by being offended and holding grudges. Get rid of that junk.  John the Evangelist tells us in 1 John 4:4,

“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them (evil spirits), because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” 

Work out your heart issues and ask God to " Create in me a clean heart and put a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10).  He will do it!

Jesus says in John 14:12-14

“Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” 

Luke 6:35-36 brings us this challenge,

"But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend them without expecting to get anything back.  Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.  Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."

So be liberated by the power of His name and live your life by His promises. You are gifted for great things!  Who is someone in your life that could use an encouraging word?  Have you noticed someone going through a tough time?  How could you be instrumental in lifting their spirits?  I pray your eyes would be open to whom God wants you to bless.  And count it all Joy.


See you in the Round!
Stacy

*Scripture quotations are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

He Humbled Himself

by Elaine

In my first entry, Married With No Children, I exhorted us to share in the likeness of Christ and His journey for us. Personally, I have recently been struggling with Christ’s calling in Ephesians, 4:31,

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”

I work in a very small department of a college. Last fall, our director moved on to another school. This left me with only myself and two part-time student aides to take on all the extra work during the busiest time of the school year. My expectation was that this would be very temporary (maybe a month) and that I would be promoted.

There were days that moved so fast and were so busy, that I felt like I did not even have a chance to breathe. There were many nights that I stayed until 6, 7, even 8. And, oh, did I mention that I also commute an hour? Day after day passed this way, with no extra compensation, no title to reflect the extra responsibilities, and no recognition. It was exhausting and frustrating. I began to dread going to work. I had no energy for anything else in my life. Many self-pep talks began with, “If I can just make it until...” My health and relationships were beginning to suffer. After four months of carrying on this way, I was told I was not getting the promotion. They were giving the job to someone else. I called my husband immediately after I got off work that day and just sobbed.


I tried to be positive. I put on a smile for my students. I told other colleagues that it was going to be great to get fresh perspective from a new person and that I was keeping an open mind. But on the inside, I was absolutely crushed. I felt that I had been taken advantage of. Bitterness, anger, and slander were festering and growing in my heart.


Bitterness is poison. If you let bitterness grow and take root in your heart, it will destroy everything, inside and out-- A bitter root, will produce bitter fruit. I had been there before and I did not want to go back.  Today, I am still working through all the emotions, and there are good days and bad. I know that I do not want to live in bitterness. Through this time, I keep coming back to Philippians 2, which says,

“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross”.

These words remind me that I am not entitled to anything at work. Our culture tells me that if I work hard, I deserve to be rewarded. Of course, it is okay for me to set boundaries so that I am not taken advantage of, but Christ set a different example for me. He emptied himself. He was a servant. He was humble. He was obedient even to the point of death. When I go to work every day, I want my coworkers and students to see that example. They expect me to be angry about what happened. But what if I show them a different way? I can, because I know that my reward is not in my paycheck or my title, but it is in knowing that I worked hard to serve the Lord.


And the Lord has given me an incredible and unique opportunity to be a light amongst so many different types of people -- I work with people from all over the world and from all religious backgrounds. I have told them how amazing Jesus is and why I would not want to follow anyone else. My prayer everyday is that my students will also come to know Jesus.


So, while I know it might be awhile before I feel differently about the situation, I am going to proactively choose to let my faith lead my attitude and actions. I will also let some (as appropriate) share in my journey. I have been honest with my student workers and a few students about how I feel. I’ll admit sometimes it is a fine line between needing to be honest and needing to vent. However, if I let them see the real me, they will also see the real Jesus in me-- and that is what I ultimately want.


Has anyone else had an experience like this? I would love to know about how you worked through the situation!


See you in the Round!
Elaine

*Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.

What Might Not Have Been

by Susan

This e-card from Pinterest pretty much sums me up. At 36, I have plenty of friends who have been married for years, and now the baby phase has started. Though I haven’t quite got there yet, I am perfectly okay that they have. I even shake off the good natured teasing about why I am not married, because really, I do not have an exact answer.


Growing up, I pictured being a wife and a mother.  I have little doubt that I will be both when God sees fit. I am a firm believer in Proverbs 16:9, which reads 

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”  

While some days I can picture coming home to a husband and a couple of kids, I can easily say that at this point in my life, I enjoy the freedom that being single has afforded me.


Looking back, I believe that I may never have met some of the most important people in my life had I been married.  In 2006, I went on my first mission trip to Guatemala. Although many from that trip are married and have children, I do not think I would have left home with a young family to take care of. The people I met and to this day maintain friendships with in Guatemala have blessed and inspired me more than I can put into words. Because of my single status, I have been able to travel back to Guatemala every July since 2006. 


My experience in Guatemala put my career path in to light.  After the trip in 2006, and with two semesters left to go in a Bachelor’s degree in elementary education, I switched my major to social work. My passion to create change and advocate for those without a voice was renewed.  Again, I am not sure any of that would have all happened had I settled down. 


The social work field is not exactly teeming with guys (at least here in Ohio anyway), so that cut down my chances of meeting someone at work.  At the time, I also worked at a preschool. Not a ton of guys in that field either. And now, I work from home, so some weeks the only time I go anywhere is when I pick my Goddaughter up from school.  Because I work evenings and weekends, I do not have a lot of opportunity to go to church functions which, to me, would be a great place to meet a future spouse.



What I am trying to say is that I am okay with all of this. I am not worried about it at all. God has always had a plan for my life. On days when I get discouraged about my singleness (and there ARE those days) I take a deep breath and remind myself how Someone much more powerful than myself has it under control!



See you in the Round!
Susan

Entertaining Strangers

by Jenn

Recently in a ladies’ Bible study, we studied 1 Timothy 5:10.  “And having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.”

This passage in context is explaining what qualifications should be considered for a faithful widow to be allowed help from the local church.  But logical thinking could deduce that if these widows were called to have lived a life evident in these qualities, this is a great list for us younger ladies to be striving towards!

I'm in the thick of bringing up children at the moment.  My three young boys demand most of my time and energy, which is the way things should be at their age.  However, that does not excuse me from pursuing these marks of a faithful woman found in 1 Timothy.  As I first read through this list, I started to feel despair that I am falling very short of the mark.  But then God reminded me that there are many ways I can fulfill these truly good things.

One specific way came to mind is that I've always enjoyed being hospitable.  Play dates, dinners, game nights, bonfires, birthday parties and many other events scatter our calendar year ‘round.  My family has also had a special opportunity to practice hospitality long term by hosting exchange students.

Lena and her 'little brother'
Jesse on Prom Night
           

Our first student fell into our family’s lap in 2008.  We had not even considered hosting when we found out about a girl, Lena, from Germany looking to study abroad.  There were only a few days left for her to be placed with a family before her dream to come to the US would be crushed.

We considered prayerfully if we could offer the one spare room in our small home.  Could we afford to feed her?  Would she mind that we had a 6 month old baby?  Questions and uneasiness ran through our minds as we considered the pros and cons.  Ultimately, though, we knew that God was calling us to entertain this stranger in our home for nine months and He would provide all that we needed to do it.

Anna and her 'little bro'
Jesse, her homecoming date

While there are many horror stories out there about hosting exchange students, we were blessed with a wonderful experience with Lena.  We loved it so much that when we moved a few years later, we did it again!  Our home was bigger this time, our family was larger, and, in 2012, we welcomed Anna in. 

Some could argue that it was financially silly for us to feed and house these girls when our budget was tight.  Maybe so, but we looked at it as a worthy investment.  These girls could have been placed in any home, yet they had a chance to live with a Christian family.  They saw our faith and foibles first hand.  There were of course trials and ruffled feathers, but we said goodbye at the end of the school year to another family member, not a stranger. 

Consider how you could use your home to fulfill one of your callings as a Godly woman.  Could you put to use the dining room table that is collecting dust?  What about that extra bedroom that you pile boxes in?  The new bonfire pit you just put in?

If hosting an exchange student for a year seems that too big of a commitment for your family, here are some other options to consider:

·         Host an international student over Christmas break when universities close down

·         Invite members of a mission team to use your basement instead of a hotel

·         Offer a room in your home to a house mom working with The Daughter Project or another similar ministry

·         Host a dinner for the new family on your street who you've been meaning to meet

·         Invite the empty-nesters next door over for a bonfire and games (they would probably love to spend time with small children for a few hours again)!

Whatever you decide, don't believe the lie that you are just not in a season where hospitality is an option.  If you wait until you have everything together and in place, you may never get there.  Choose instead to bless someone else (and yourself in the process) by opening your home.  You never know what could happen!  Hebrews 13:2 says, 

            “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”  

See you in the Round!
Jenn

Where God Puts Us

by Christina

As I sit here, nursing the baby, I can't help but wonder just how I got here. Well, how WE got here, Richard and I. If you had told me five years ago that I would be an Air Force wife with a little boy, I probably would have peed my pants and maybe cried. But I love it! I don't want to be anywhere else. God's got me where he wants me, and by golly, if it ain't the best place for me right now! He knows best—go figure!

Richard and I met in college in Virginia—we were both at a foreign language event that neither of us wanted to be at but felt obligated to go to. I was a senior German major at the university down the street from where he was a freshman history major. Our relationship almost didn't go anywhere, as we never exchanged contact information, till he asked his German professor, with whom I'd taken a couple course, what my name was. (He had a terrible memory for names!) He emailed a generic postmaster address at my school, asking them to pass on a message to me, and a few days later, we went out to dinner!

While Richard and I were dating and he brought up the possibility of his joining the military, I kind of went along with his mom in encouraging him to NOT join. I don't know what my prejudice was against military families was at that point, but I didn't want any part of it.

After getting to know my then-soon-to-be-husband, though, I did a full one-eighty and knew the military was the only place for Richard. I watched him struggle to find a job after graduating from college and sympathized with him as he worked a retail job that, while giving him good experience, he hated. When he entered basic training February 2012, we never looked back. And he loves his job, and I love mine.

I never had any interest in a career; I used to say I wanted to translate comic books (ha). In college I joked about marrying a premed student so I wouldn't HAVE to get a job. The thought of working full-time outside the home was incredibly depressing! I knew staying home wasn't an option unless kids were in the picture, though, and for four years I worked as a dental assistant before Richard enlisted and whisked us to Colorado. Assisting was a good job for me—not career—and I really liked it, but I was so glad when I didn't have the task of being the breadwinner on my shoulders anymore.

I never had even been all that keen on having kids, either, but the Lord worked a slow (and I mean SLOW) change in me over the last few years, culminating in our becoming pregnant a few months after moving here. Even though His timing is perfect, may I selfishly say that I am SO glad we didn't have a baby before we did! But, again, His timing is the best, and we have the son that He wanted for us at the time He wanted him for us.

It's always so interesting to learn what God has going on behind the scenes when it seems nothing is happening! Whenever it seemed like life had stalled—my not wanting to work full-time, Richard's wanting to work full-time—I would remember Psalm 37:5-6.

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun."

He's always got a plan for where you're going; just trust him.

Richard, William, and Asshur

I love my job of stay-at-home mom—and that's the first time I've ever been able to say I love my job. And it is, of course, the hardest job I've had, but it's the most fulfilling by far!

It will be so exciting to see what God has in store for us next!

See you in the Round!
Christina

*Scripture quotations are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.