Terrifying Transparency

by Megan

In September, the women in

my church began a study on the book of Jeremiah. I've never been a part of a women’s bible study that was not full of fluff and facades. However, I had been desiring one in which we took off the "I have my life perfectly together" hat and put on the "my life's a struggle and I'm in need of God's daily grace" hat.


Women are quite good at putting up a facade by pretending they're okay, pretending their life is in order, pretending they are not in need of help, or pretending they are someone contrary to whom they truly are. I’m 100% guilty of this.


Why do we do this? Why do we close ourselves off? Well, letting people in is risky. I discussed in my last post how the standards the world presents hinder our ability to be genuinely us. That includes sharing the depths of our heart with those we love. Therefore, we are also unable to be transparent and vulnerable in our community for fear we will disappoint or be judged.


When we decide to let someone in, we are signing up for potential judgment, hurt, disappointment, or condemnation. BUT, we are also signing up for encouragement, accountability, compassion, support, and counsel.


More times than not, bible studies for women function in a similar way. You come, meet with a group of ladies you probably do not know all too well, talk solely about surface level topics and the content of the study, but not what's actually going on in your heart. However, that's not how our first meeting went. Praise The Lord!


We established that it would be a safe place we could discuss the tough, difficult, embarrassing, shameful, and controversial things present in our lives; a place in which we could be totally transparent free from judgment. It was in that moment that I felt an overwhelming conviction from The Spirit to share what had been going on in my life for the past decade.

Galatians 1:10 asks,

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."

I battled with this conviction for minutes, which felt like hours. The more I fought God, the more I ran from Him…the more my heart beat faster and harder. I ran because I was absolutely terrified of what they would think of me. It was the first time in my life I had a paralyzing conviction to be obedient. Eventually, I caved. I cried a lot. I shared. I felt peace. Peace that permeated my soul. I was able to relax and finally stop running, hiding, and carrying this burden.


To my shock, it was received well. Their view of me did not waiver based on the honesty of my past. SO much good has come from my obedience and transparency, which I did not expect. I even felt physically lighter, like a 40 pound weight was lifted from my shoulders. My trust in God was significantly heightened. My friendships changed drastically. I was able to live freely around them because they knew me, the real me. They knew the deepest, darkest, most shameful areas of me and loved me still. Women bond through vulnerability because we like to know we're not alone in this struggle and that we're not the only one with a messy life.

“The LORD gives his people strength. The LORD blesses them with peace.”
-Psalm 29:11

Peace comes from God, not sin. When we put our trust in the One who made our brains and made us able to trust in Him, we no longer have anxiety about our futures. Feeling restless? Seek and obey the Lord God and rest will come.


God is my only source of peace. It is only in His presence that I feel absolute peace, safety, comfort, and security.

We are called to live in perfect obedience to The Lord. So why is it so hard? Why do we run from His promptings? We think we know what is best for our lives. We don't trust He has something better planed. We can't see past our present circumstances. God can, though. He knows our future.


Jesus said in John 14:27, “I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart, And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”


Acts 5:29 says, "But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.”


If you're not living your life being genuinely you, then you're not living - you're performing. You're no different than the actress in your favorite movie. Performers seek applause and affirmation to know what they are doing is acceptable and appreciated. Human beings fear rejection, so we seek acceptance. Think about all the televised awards shows there are.


However, we are not widely accepted when we are pretending to be someone other than ourselves. We are accepted when we are being genuinely us. When I stopped trying to please the world, I actually achieved acceptance.

See you in the Round!
Megan

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^® (ESV^®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

The Struggle Is Real

by Joy

“The struggle is real.” It is a phrase used ironically to make jokes (full definition here on Urban Dictionary).

For instance, if you say, “My cell phone charger cord is too short to reach the bed,” someone may reply, “The struggle is real.” Of course that struggle isn’t really real. However, as Christians, we are in very real struggles everyday. Paul says in Ephesians 6:12,

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."(ESV) 

What Are We Fighting For?

Last time I wrote about finding my identity in Christ alone, and I know I am not the only one who must fight to believe that truth. Whether our personal struggle sounds silly or serious to us, that struggle is real. Regardless of if we keep on building our identity on something that seems small, such as clothes or home décor, or something that seems bigger, like body image or infertility, it is still the fight to believe Jesus is the only one who gets the final say in who we are.

Establishing my identity on things other than Christ does not always look like the discouragement I talked about last time, either. Sometimes I instead swell with pride, ego inflated like the Goodyear Blimp so that from my altitude, I can only look down on others. Though that may seem like an opposite problem from the first, they are actually just two symptoms of the same problem.


Both are symptoms of the kind of problem Paul describes in Romans 1:18-25. I fail to honor God as God, allowing other things to tell me who I am instead of listening to Him. I know where I should find my identity because God has told me, yet I so often exchange the truth for a lie and look for significance
in the created rather than the Creator.

How Do We Fight?

When the Holy Spirit is gracious to convict us that we are basing our identity on something other than Jesus, how do we fight to put our faith in Christ alone as the source of and ultimate authority over our identity? Fighting for something like faith often seems slippery since it is not just behavior modification. So I want to give you a few practical ways to engage in the battle.


First, ask God for faith. Faith is a gift given to us by God (Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 12:3). It is not something we conjure up on our own. So it follows that if we want to grow in faith, we ought to ask the One who gives it. Be honest with Him about your weaknesses and doubts.  Then beg God to help you believe that your identity is in Jesus, that it is more than enough, that there is nothing you can say or do, acquire or lose, that will change who you are in Christ.


The Bible also says that faith comes through hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ (Romans 10:17). Did you catch that? If we want faith, we need to hear from God in the Bible. We need to regularly listen to Jesus in His Word if we are to persevere.  We need to be reminded of Truth so we are able to fight the lies. And as Ashley talked about earlier this week, we need a community of other believers to remind us of Truth, as well.


Finally, look to Jesus. The author of Hebrews reminds us to look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). I love this quote from Robert Murray M’Cheyne, 

“For every look at yourself take ten looks at Christ.” 

It is so easy to get caught up in ourselves, either in pride or shame, but we miss the point when we focus on self. Jesus is the point. Focus on Him. Consider His identity, He who is fully God but became fully man. As your eyes are fixed on Him, see if you start to care less about the worldly thing begging for your attention and realize that nothing makes sense but to define your life by Christ. See Him humbly emptying Himself, exchanging our identity for His, so that when the Father looks on us, He would see Jesus.


See y’all in the Round!
Joy

Who Am I?

by Joy

When I was younger, I used to wish I had a longer name. Three letters? It just did not seem like enough. You cannot even make a shortened-version nickname out of Joy. I envied those girls with names like Jessica or Jennifer, or especially Tiffany or Nichole, the names I believed to be more beautiful than any other on the planet.

I know it all seems a bit silly (and I like my name very much now, by the way). But still, I often find myself dissatisfied with that which identifies me. Or maybe I should say that which I believe identifies me. Do you know that feeling? Feeling like it all is not quite enough? That maybe if you had more or better, or if you could wear some other label – like “well-liked and popular” or maybe “wife and mother” - you’d be more satisfied with who you are?


I was thinking over this when I was asked to write the little paragraph about me on the “Meet the Authors” page of this blog. Which relationships, hobbies, interests sum me up? How do I define myself in just a few short sentences? Is there anything more to say than that, anyway? Just as I used to believe there were not quite enough letters in my name, I still often believe I don’t have quite enough stuff – whether it be a cooler address or a better wardrobe or a more refined palette - to give me a proper identity. Oh, and remember how I used to envy other girls’ prettier names? That has not quite stopped, either, although it is not about names anymore. But I still constantly compare most other aspects of my life to others’. And it is in those moments that I tend to find myself the least content with who I am.


But the truth is that I am looking to the wrong things to identify me. Things that were never meant to define me. Things that – even if they are good things – are transient and changing and can never give me a secure and fulfilling identity. The truth is that those things do not get to say who I am, anyway. God does. And here’s the bad news: without Christ, my identity is God’s enemy (Romans 5:10), a child of wrath (Ephesians 2:3).


But here’s the good news: because of Jesus, I have been given a new identity. God now says I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), His child (John 1:12-13), a member of God’s household (Ephesians 2:19), and a fellow heir with Christ (Romans 8:17). And that identity is sure and secure regardless of what I have or what I do or who I know. That identity is more than enough.


Do I still struggle to find my identity in Christ alone? Of course. But that’s a conversation for next time.


See y’all in the Round!
Joy